Setting: The home where I grew up.
The Characters: Butch - my father, Sue - my mother.
Sue: (Yelling from upstairs) Butch.
Butch: (Yelling from downstairs). What?
Sue: Are you watching the television?
Sue: Are you watching the television? We're under a tornado warning?
Sue: (grabbing a pack of True Blues). Ouch. Jesus Christ. There's a god-damn tornado coming.
Butch: (coming to the bottom of the stairs) What do you want?
Sue: (stepping down the steps). Oif. Ooh. Ouch. A tornado. There's a tornado coming.
Butch: Torpedo. Torpedo. What the hell are you talking about?
Sue: God damn you Butch, I said, "tornado." Like Bryan used to get in Kentucky.
Butch: Bryan doesn't live in Kentucky. He lives in Connecticut.
Sue: No, here. In Syracuse It was just on the news. We need to take shelter.
Butch: Well, it's Tuesday. I'm going to Chubbies.
Sue: Not in this weather, you're not. We need to stay in the bathroom.
Butch: No we don't. I need to go to Chubbies.
Sue: You son of a bitch, Butch. We need to go into the closet.
Butch: You ain't getting in there, Sue. Where's the phone?
Sue: It's in your hand.
Butch: Oh. (He grabs his keys).
Sue: You're not going to Chubbies.
Butch: It's Tuesday.
Sue: For crying out loud, Butch, get in the closet.
Butch: With all your coats?
Sue: Yes, with all my coats, and your bowling balls, and the boots you never throw away. (she grabs
the phone from Butch).
Butch: Who you calling?
Sue: There's a tornado coming.
Butch: What do you mean there's a torpedo coming?
Butch: I'm grabbing a beer first. (he ignores the closet that Sue enters)
Sue: Do what you want. I'm going in the closet. (lights a True Blue and dials the phone). (pause)
Butch: Who you calling? (he opens a beer)
Butch: Why you calling her? She coming to Chubbies with us?
Sue: Why isn't she answering....Cynde, Oh, good you answered. Did you watch Days yet?
Butch: Jesus Christ.
Sue: Yes. Yes. We're in the downstairs closet.
Butch: (yelling). Your mother thinks torpedoes are coming.
Sue: Tornados, you idiot. Are you in the basement? Where's Nikki?
Butch: I have to use the bathroom.
Sue: Butch, there's a tornado.
Butch: (pushing her out of the way). There's no god damn torpedo. I have to use the bathroom.
Sue: I swear to god I'm going to kill him. Okay. Okay. I'm glad you're okay. Okay. I will let you go.
(inhales, exhales. dials the phone again). Hey, it's me. Did you watch Days today? It's really good.
Do you have the boys in the basement? It's heading to Manlius.....oh, he's in the bathroom. Dave
at work? No, he's in the bathroom hiding from tornadoes.
Butch: (returning) Who you talking to now?
Butch: Is she coming to Chubbies?
Sue: Jesus Christ, Butch. She's in the basement hiding from the tornado.
Butch: There's no god damn torpedo. I'm going to Chubbies. You coming?
Sue: Only if you buy me a White Russian. I need a White Russian.
(suddenly the house shakes and debris flies around. A twister enters from offstage and picks them up. They twirl in the air and whirl around in the winds, looking down on Cherry Heights and waving to the Carolis and Perras - Butch yells, "We're going to Chubbies." Sue shouts, "Steph, did you see Days today?")